I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
