eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
