Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
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