she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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