You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
the raccoons are back...
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