You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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