Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
