So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
zippers are such a cool invention
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Floor bacon is actually really good
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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