why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
