i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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