Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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