You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
