my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize