Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
