I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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