The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I see more hoeing in ur future
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