Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I AM VODKA MAN
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
