You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I want to make a zoo with you.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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