chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
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