been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You pole danced in your parka.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
