At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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