at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
