i was born a porn star she said
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
