pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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