So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
