I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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