week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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