i was born a porn star she said
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Randomize
