so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
