I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
