Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
