Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
