Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
