Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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