She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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