There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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