so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
