if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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