I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
