I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
