i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
