Kareoke will never be a sober sport
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
