when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
