I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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