New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
