The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
