Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
