he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
