I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
