Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
