dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
