He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
