i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
