She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
