He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Is it penis luge time yet?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
