Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
