covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
