There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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