I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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