yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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