Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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