All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
