The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
