My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
