I don't usually arrange sex via text message
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
